04 Another Bad Dream

I awoke this morning feeling slightly soiled, wondering why I had subjected myself to last night's entertainment - a crushingly dull PRC production called The Mad Monster. I guess I'm just a sucker for anything with George Zucco. Or maybe I just like sideshows. [LINK TO MAD MONSTER: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0035009/ ]
Most critics hate movies like The Mad Monster. Such films are not "important," and critics are forever searching for "meaning" to justify their own positions. But the B-movie is enjoying a long overdue resurgence under the safe umbrella of "nostalgia."
B-movies remind me of carnival sideshows; they scream for attention without pretension, existing for the sole purpose of entertaining us, no matter how pure or puerile. Fassbinder, Herzog, Wenders, et al getting you down? How about a shot of Dolemite, Motor Psycho, or Terror of Tiny Town ? They're shameless fun, and a lot more flavorful than the bland, recycled stuff you're likely to get at your local gigaplex.
[LINK TO DOLEMITE: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072895/ ]
[LINK TO MOTOR PSYCHO: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0059474/ ]
[LINK TO TERROR OF TINY TOWN: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0030845/ ]
Some people, however, are utterly hopeless.
The following took place at my former Alma Mater, after a screening of Arthur Penn's Alice's Restaurant. I recount this not to embarrass Mr. Penn, who is a fine director, a gentleman, and like most of us, all too human. This can't be said for those who actually get paid to promulgate flat-earth theories on the Nature of Film. Consider this classroom discourse:
CFS: Why are there so many microphones visible in this film? They're in almost every shot, and in some scenes you can see a half-ton of two-by-four. I can't believe a film would be released in this condition.
Whereupon Yours Truly was given a smirk of unusual disdain, as if the teacher had stepped in a fresh turd with open-toed sandals:
TEACHER: You obviously don't understand cinema, Mr. Shelton. The director is trying to show us, through symbolism and metaphor, the intrusion of the media on our everyday lives. Mr. Penn is deliberately using the tools of the cinematic medium to make an ironic commentary on the displacement between man and his senses . . .
Yeesh. That one left me scratching my head, wondering if that philosophy might also apply to Plan 9 From Outer Space or Robot Monster. But I quickly recovered and replied:
CFS: Like Wexler's Medium Cool ?
Which earned me a condescending nod, and the privilege of hearing the rest of a rambling, masturbatory diatribe. O Lucky Man!
And as luck would have it, Penn made an appearance at the school for a guest lecture. The academic firewall went up immediately upon his arrival, shielding Mr. Penn from all but the most groveling graduate toadies. But I could not let my opportunity escape. When the Q&A session began I leaped out of hiding, pulled the pin and lobbed a pineapple:
CFS: Mr. Penn, why are there so many microphones visible in Alice's Restaurant ?
To Mr. Penn's eternal credit, he simply shook his head and said:
PENN: Son, I'd rather fall on my sword than answer that one. The truth is we screwed it up completely. We shot it and cut it in the wrong aspect ratio, and when the release prints came out you could see the whole set. It was too bad, really, I kind of liked that film.
And after that, I did too.